Sleep Training.

Sleep training....

IT IS THE WORST!

It is however going better then expected. I have a four day weekend and thought I would take advantage of it.  I imagine it is harder on me then it is her.  So last night was night one. She slept in her crib from about 9:30-11:30, then needed some hugs and food, and went back to sleep from about midnight to 3:45 am.  At 3:45 she wouldn't go back to sleep, she was pretty much up and ready for the day, so I gave in and let her sleep with me until six so I could get a little extra sleep. 

I feel like that was a pretty good first night.  It is now night two and as I write this she is asleep in her crib upstairs.  She has been asleep for almost twenty minutes YAY! Tonight she went done with very very minimal crying.  A big improvement from last night.

I have the baby monitor GLUED to my hip, and I get anxious when she stirs and when she doesn't stir.  When she stirs, I get sad that she has such a hard time sleeping peacefully.  And when she doesn't stir I wonder if she is breathing and doing well.  Esp if she has just eaten, I am terrified she'll spit up choke or something crazy. 

I am trying to take this time to clean up the house, shower, do things for myself etc, but I get so anxious it is hard.  Like I said, this is probably harder on me then it is on her.  My baby is growing up and I feel like everyday I am missing it.  I am hoping that with my new job, I will get to spend more time with her.  Sometimes I miss her so much my heart breaks.  I miss her sleeping in the bassinet next to my bed, when I could easily take care of her at night, and reach over to make sure she was breathing whenever I wanted, but I know this is probably best, besides she has an amazing crib and nursery, should be used for sleeping not just naps!

Wish me luck with the sleep training, I imagine I will need more help then Lotte haha.  So many crazy changes in just a few months, my emotions are all over the place, so I'm pretty sure baby girl is fine, but I'll need some emotional support haha!

Baby's first Christmas!

Hard to believe but Christmas has come and gone.  Christmas was weird this year being on a Tuesday! I think it would have been easier if I didn't work Monday and Wednesday around it haha. 

Charlotte did very well though.  She had almost constant excitement and visitors.  She was exhausted by the end of the day.  Charlotte was so spoiled and loved it was great to see.  Last year at this time when I was pregnant, I never pictured her first Christmas to quite play out like this, but it was a Charlotte was happy and that's all that matters. 

Now that Christmas is over, I have taken down the tree and rearranged the house.  Now that Charlotte is a mover and a shaker and has a MILLION toys, she needs more room to play, so no more coffee table for this house. 

It amazes me how smart she is and how fast she has figured out most of her toys.  Charlotte is such a special little girl, I don't know why I didn't expect her to be a genius too!

It's almost Christmas!

Christmas is right around the corner! And let me tell you, Lotte is already so spoiled! I know I've said it before, but I love that she is so loved, by all.  I get so much joy out of my time with her, but you never know if she is just awesome to me, because she's my baby girl, but clearly she is just the bomb dot com, because everyday a new gift comes her way and people want to see her!

What has she been up to these days you ask? Don't worry, I'll fill you in! Well she loves opening presents, but really I think she just likes ripping the paper then trying to eat it! I was reading one of my baby books and it says this month, she will begin to have "favorite" toys.  Apparently plastic bags are her favorite toys, even though I have showed her repeatedly that all of the bags say "this is not a toy" right on them.  She refuses to believe me!

She is still such a grabber! She now reaches for exactly what she wants.  She has started to fuss when she gets bored and wants her toys changed up.  She is also really in to throwing her toys just out of her reach.  This is somewhat my fault! She did it by accident when she couldn't hold onto things and I said "uh-oh spaghettio" and she laughed, and I did it a few more times, so now that is her favorite game haha.  She really likes peek-a-boo as well, so that is always hilarious! At Gymboree yesterday they had a parachute, she LOVED that thing.  It was pretty exciting. 

She is starting to eat more and more foods which is fun to watch.  She really likes everything.  I think she prefers the fruits to the vegetables, so she must take after Adam in that way instead of me haha. On the 17th she went to her doctors appointment, weighing in at a little over 13 pounds, the doctor told me she FINALLY made it onto the growth chart (bottom 5% of course).  But he is pleased with her growth rate.  If you have ever eaten around Lotte you know that she likes to eat whatever you are eating.  The doctor gave us the go ahead to give her a little bit of people food.  Nothing crazy big obviously, no nuts or shellfish, and that type of thing.  I was eating sweet potatoes the other night and gave her a bite.  She also had some pineapple, which she loved!

The other thing she is really into these days? Moovin' and Groovin'! The best part is that she grunts like a tennis player when she tries to stand up on her own or crawl.  It is hilarious haha! She is working on becoming completely mobile, so we'll see when she just takes off on her own!

It feels like just yesterday I was bringing my little peanut home and now she is so active and movin around on her own.  It's hard to believe that just a couple months ago, I could barely get her to eat, and now she puts everything in her mouth and trys every food! I love being her mom, I am so proud of her, and proud of myself for doing such a good job.  Every day presents a new Challenger, but I feel like I am handling everything well, and I am happy with the life that is being created for her! Enjoy the montage of Lotte opening gifts! She is too cute!

Reflections

I haven't posted at all about what happened in Newtown, but I have been thinking a lot about and reading all the news articles and peoples facebook posts.

I am pretty political. I have very strong viewpoints on most things.  This recent incident only has me thinking about one thing...baby girl! When Obama read the names of the poor babies that lost their lives he said "Charlotte".  It really hit home.  I have no idea how someone could stand to lose their child, especially when a child is so young.

I literally can not even imagine the pain they are going through.  I think I have had many challenges in my very short life, and I feel like I am a very strong person and would list resilient as one of my best traits, but this type of tragedy is not something I think I could work through. 

My heart goes out to everyone who lost their child.  Even the adults are some one's baby.  Tragedies like this really mean something different to me now that I am a mother.  As I was getting Charlotte dressed this morning and she puked all over my work clothes, all I could do was smile.  I am thankful that I get to be drenched in spit up every morning.  I am so blessed that my girl is perfect and with me.  Not everyone got to dress their little on this morning, but I did, so I am richer then most people.

A busy Baby!

Charlotte has been so busy these days! I can't believe next week will be her first Christmas! I have so many gifts to shop for and wrap, I really should have planned ahead haha

Charlotte had two cookie exchanges and a chilli cook off this weekend!  She is one party animal.  Charlotte is so good when we go out and always the hit of the party.  Her first Christmas season has been so great, and is only getting better! I am happy she has so many fun things to do and gets to get out and about. 

My little baby is six months old.  I can hardly believe it.  What is she up to these days you ask? Well she can sit up all by herself! She is great at sitting for long periods of time now and without having someone support her! It still amazes me every time it happens, I can hardly believe that six months ago she was just a five pound tiny peanut that depended on me for everything! Time has flown by! I miss my little peanut, but love watching her grow.  It's only getting better, I'm a lucky girl!

Big girl eating her puffs:

 

 I love peas and apples, give me more mom:

Happy Girl covered in food:

 

Big girl bath time: 

 

All of the toys haha: 

What if...

So tonight we played the "what if" game.  I thought about the major life decisions I had made, what if I never left Frostburg, what if I never married Adam, what if I did't go to grad school, what if I chose another career path, what if I never worked at camp. 

I thought about all of these things and where I would be today if I chose different directions.  The only conclusion that I ended up at was it doesn't matter what I chose.  I believe that somehow, I would have become this little girls mother.  I was meant to be her mom.  No matter how much heartache it took to get to this exact moment in time, it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day Charlotte and I have each other, and that is what was meant to be.  I was chosen to be her mom, and I can't wait to keep moving forward and watching her grow into an awesome woman of her own.

The curious incident of the toilet paper at shower time...

I don't know about most working moms, but this working mom doesn't always have time to give the baby her own bath every night.  Charlotte and I worked out a great system.  She loves to shower with me! She is actually starting to get to big for it, but it works great, so I will hate to retire it!

Anyway, our system is get in the shower, wash ms. Lotte pants, and then bundle her up and let her play on the floor while I take a few minutes to wash my hair and such.  Thanks to CGT I have mastered the fine art of a quick quick shower.  Anyway, tonight when I was in the shower, I heard her laughing and doing her happy scream...so I think great, she's having a ball, I can take the time to shave my legs...then I peak out of the current and find that she has unrolled half of the brand new toilet paper roll all over the place! It was hilarious! I couldn't resist taking pictures, I have so much fun with this little one and she brings me so much joy, sadly I will have to find a new way to shower. ugh.

My girl just keeps growing!

Well it seems Lotte has pretty much mastered sitting on her own! She rarely needs supports and sits up much straighter now.  She amazes me everyday! She also is attempting to learn to crawl.  She hasn't quite figure out how to lift her head and her legs up in the right order. 

Right now she just lifts her butt up really high, she can get onto her knees and everything, her head stays put though haha! She will get it soon I think, she is out of control smart and talented! She also loves to grab things and rip things up!

Sometimes it is hard to read to her, because she wants to rip the pages out, solution? Let her tear up an old useless text book! Short post tonight because I am tired and plan to sleep after AHS! But don't worry, lots of pictures are involved!

She just keeps growing!

I thought I would start with some pictures! I have been taking Lotte's monthly pictures but haven't been posting them! I haven't taken the six months picture yet, but I thought I would share her newborn picture and her five month picture! It is insane how much my tiny peanut has grown.

Lotte, Home from the hospital, about a week old:

 

Lotte a few days over five months old! She has grown so much: 

 

Lotte turned 24 weeks old on Thursday!  These last six months have been so crazy and amazing.  She is eating baby food and sitting up by herself.  She is still not sleeping through the night, but thanks for asking ;) I can't believe how amazingly wonderful life with Charlotte is.  Some days it is really hard, but overall it is amazing. 

 

I haven't posted since last weekend, but this past week and weekend have been great.  Charlotte does something different every day.  She is now becoming very mobile.  I guess I will have to start baby proofing the house sometime soon.  She can sit up all on her own.  She doesn't last too long, she is more of a supported sitter haha.  She also has been reaching for things she wants.  If you place them just out of her reach she will work hard to get to them.  She rolls from her back to her stomach, but soon realizes she is voluntarily participating in tummy time, which she hates, so she instantly flips back over to her back and does a little baby crab walk scooch thing to reach what she wants.  It is amazing the things such a tiny human can do. 

 

Things have been so busy these days and I have been sick, so I am utterly exhausted.  I had planned to get my haircut this weekend, a feat that has not been accomplished since three months since before Lotte was born, but sadly my sitter plans fell through.  I think I will have to start taking people up on their offers to help.  Although I love my little girl more then the entire world, I think that I have take more time for myself.  It is impossible to do things mostly by myself anymore.  I was lucky enough that her GG volunteered to babysit so that I could go out for a couple hours Saturday night to celebrate Katie's big 3-0! It was fun, but I hate asking GG to babysit all the time, she already picks Lotte up from daycare three days a week and is really my go to person for help, sometimes I feel like I rely to much on her. 

 

It is a weird feeling.  I know I should ask for help, but I hate putting other people out for my own selfish needs.  I mean I don't really NEED a haircut (and probably shouldn't spend the money).  I am working on becoming more of a selfless person, but it's hard...I have split ends and I hate them! I hope I am doing the best I can for Lotte and I know I say it in every post, but I really want her to have the best life possible.  One of the mom lessons I learned is that you can no longer be selfish when you have a child.  So that is what I am working on, trying to get rid of my selfish tendencies.  I mean at the end of the day, you all will be the ones that have to look at me with bad hair, so it really is your loss haha!

 

I did not finish Charlotte's laundry this weekend; one of my only goals lol.  I need to set aside sometime during the week to organize her room and do all of her laundry, it is a little out of control.  Weeknights are so hard for me, by the time I get out of work, get to GG's to pick her up and get home, it's usually about 6:30 and at that point, it's all I can do to make dinner, feed, bathe and get the baby ready for bed before passing out, so adding another chore into the equation is a thought that makes me shake in my boots.  But I know it needs to be done, so I just have to buckle down and do it.  I really need to work on my motivation level.  Usually the best time to get things done is when she is sleeping, but I hate to waste those precious hours on chores, when I could be relaxing or sleeping myself.  Such is life I guess.  It definitely gives me a newfound respect for parents of babies all over the world. 

In other news I did finally make it to Costco to get some groceries and baby formula.  I purchased two cans of formula thinking I'd "stock up" (any parent knows that only lasts a few weeks or so haha).  So I budgeted my money, put back several of my personal indulgences (marinated mozzarella, I will miss you) and bought my items.  I made it to the car, and as always I parked the cart with my paid for goods right in front of my trunk.  I then went to the side of the car to get Lotte out of her baby bjorn and strapped into her car seat so I could put my groceries away.  When I went to the cart, I noticed the baby formula was GONE! Both cans had disappeared! I heard people talking and walking by, but it was a Sunday afternoon, Costco was SO busy that I didn't think anything of it! I can not believe someone stole it :( So I loaded the groceries, then got Lotte back out of her car seat and went back to the store.  I spoke with the people in charge, but they could not give me a replacement or a refund.  I was so mad!!!!! Two of the people I talked to were nice about it, and just explained why they could not refund my money, but one was a complete jerk and blamed me over and over again.  I had a tired hungry baby, and the store was packed with lots of free sample grubbers, so I didn't argue with her, I just paid double, which sucks.  The mean lady wouldn't even tell me her name, she kept covering up her name tag, I even asked for the manager twice and she refused, seriously who is a jerk to someone carrying a baby that just got infant formula stolen from them in their parking lot?! If it was quieter in there or Lotte wasn't with me I would have asked for her boss, but I needed to get my items and go! I really hope whoever took it, really actually needed it and wasn't just being a jerk.  Although it sucks for me, and is scary that I got "robbed" while sitting in the car buckling Lotte in, if someone needed it for their sweet baby, I'm glad they took it.  I'm out $40, but at least I can afford to replace it, and at least they didn't take my string cheese (my go to breakfast haha!)  I hope there is a healthy happy FAT baby out there :)

 

Charlotte has finally drifted off while I typed this, so I'm off to take advantage of it! I feel a nice shower and SLEEP coming on, it's ten o'clock she is due to be up around one, so I shall sleep while I can.  Good night blog world, and if I don't say it enough, thanks to all those who read it, and all those who send me the amazing messages of support.  On the hard days, it really helps me get by!